Whisperer

I want to
lean close
and whisper
softly in your ear
to calm your
restless soul.

Softly,
so only you
can hear;
and the candle
doesn't
go out.

Tea, Time and Tears

She sits in the dark
with tea and old photos
mourning the inevitable changes
that come with the
passing of time.

The changes are
a shock
to her system
as if suddenly
she woke up one day
and the children were grown
the hair was grey
and the relationships
were skewed
like an old
pair of glasses
she'd forgotten
she was wearing.

What can we do to reach across time

and change things 

that we had nothing to do with

but were only 

random occurrences 

in the long timeline

of lives 

that intersected ours? 

unbirthing

My skin is taut--

stretched

to the breaking point--

being pulled

from all sides

by the old

and the young--

The cells s e p a r a t e
at an a g o n i z i n g l y s l o w p a c e

and I silently bleed.


I call out
as the waves of pain
overtake me,
my lifeblood
spent and empty,
beyond sustenance,
no longer nourishing.

The placental essence

a rusty dust under my feet

to be blown away

by the wind.

Night Prayer

I know you're trying to help me, he said.

I cringed, knowing that meant I'd

miserably failed.

Nevertheless, I continue praying

into the night.

For my husband

Strength on strength,
you draw your power
from adversity blessed,
from forgotten love
turned to earnest steadiness
tirelessly pursued

I cherish the gift of
your unfolding self,
given to me
twice in our lives,
brought together
and held together
by the glue that is
the Love
of God.

Grandmother

The smell of strong, percolated coffee filled the air, mingled with the odor of stale cigarette smoke. The constant whining of the electric clock combined with the startling gong from the clock upstairs, seemingly random and meant to frighten.

As if born from the unsettling atmosphere, she sat in the wicker chair in her house dress, the smoke from her cigarette curling menacingly up above our heads. There was a constant battle inside me, when I was with her, to keep any sense of self-esteem going. I was annoyance embodied, in her house with the French Toile wallpaper I was not allowed to touch.

The only conversation I remember having with her, that didn’t invoke a sinking feeling of guilt in the pit of my stomach, was when we talked, once, about people we knew with body parts for last names. I still remember my example: the family named “Head”, whose father had abandoned them after his tour in Vietnam. I don’t remember her example anymore. “Toe”, or perhaps, “Finger”? I don’t know.

She died too soon, not in youth, but in hatred; too soon for the brain cells of nastiness to be burned away by dementia, too soon to be frail and surrounded by a concerned family.

She died in the prime of sarcastic jibes at the inadequacy of her children’s children.

Poem for Holiday Depression

this is the season
that is the somber sameness
of numberless generations
following one after the other
into the vast dark emptiness
of countless dreams unfulfilled

the darkness envelops
the cold settles deep
and my bones crack with the change
wanting to bury themselves
like food fallen
from the trees
and picked up by squirrels
--forgotten--
until they have
taken root

A Rap for the Rapper

when i'm gone
where will i be?
will you recognize me?
will you look for me
in the breeze, in the trees
in the outdoor cathedral that should bring you to your knees?

or will your gaze be inward
indulging desire
nothing but self serve
serving the interior
thirst that is forever

until life is impossible
eternal
a circle
gazin' at your navel
like a snake
biting its tail
you get nowhere
you grasp the air
on the way down
to the ground
you travel round and round

when you

move

at

all

the thread dances between
the generations

guided by the needle
it spirals upward

we each bear the scars
as time
becomes one

Dad

you came
back from the shadows
of my dreams
to help me cope

with my waking reality

you seemed to say,

you can call on me now
i'll be there
to answer

I explained today
to you
and you were there

suddenly
and in plain view
sharply focused
with the clarity
that comes

with time

acid tears
of regret fall
as I muse on
where the train
went off the track

Oh God,
forgive me
for my lack of courage
in the past,
and give me courage now,
to bear the consequences

as you begin to shed the
unwanted burdens
laid on you
by society

I am still sloughing off
my own dead skin
looking for rebirth

perhaps we both
will learn
to soar

In my dreams

I go back to warn you

You left us still searching

I go back to warn you

You are in your own place now

I go back to warn you

You do not take me there

I go back to warn you

You're already dead